16 March, 2015

The Truth of Forgiveness

We all know that forgiveness is hard.

It's hard to let go of pain and to stop holding the other person responsible. Sometimes we fear that if we forgive, it somehow nullifies what happened - but that is not true. To forgive is to say that what happened won't have power over you anymore.

Forgiveness is not so much about the other person as it is about you. I hear a lot of people say they will forgive when the other person does ___. But what if that never comes? Forgiveness cannot be conditional. It cannot be dictated by what the other party does. Forgiveness is an choice between you and God. The actions of the other person cannot determine your decision.

It is hard to carry our own burdens. It is hard to carry the weight of the pain we are still trying to process.

Refusing to forgive does nothing to the offending party and all it does is ruin us.

I carried a huge weight of unforgiveness and pain for fifteen years. It made me angry, bitter, and hurtful. I couldn’t talk about the situation without getting fired up and crying. Did the people on the other side know? No! And if they did, they did not care and would not respond how I wished they would. My pain was self-inflected. And it was not until this spring I was able to open my hands and let it go.

Let it go – to the One who had wanted it all along.

Let it go – replacing the pain with a sense of understanding and peace.

Let is go – realizing God has so much more planned for you.

Life is too short friends, let it go. All it is doing is robbing you of peace and freedom.

It does not mean it does not matter.

It does not mean it did not happen.

It means you are not going to let it define you and you are saying there is so much more to than this.

Who do you need to forgive? What situation do you need to lay at God’s feet?

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© Amanda Lunday