20 November, 2014

What You Do Not Have

There are days when being a writer is easy. When the scenes flow easy and time flies as you craft the perfect story.
Image via This is Glamorous

But what about when the words won’t come?

What about when you do nothing but stare at the screen all day?

What about when you open a story and find that you have nothing to contribute?

When the inspiration dies and there is nothing but the silence to replace it, how do you go about being creative?

I’ve heard plenty of answers – write anyway, go do something else, try a different mode of creativity. To me, all of these answers fall flat because they do not address the underlying issue.

There can be off days, off afternoons, off sessions… But what about off seasons?

I’ve been struggling for a while with authentic writing. I have an acronym: GBS (Get Below the Surface) and it’s all over my pages right now. Relationships are hollow, tensions are fake, stories are predictable.

I have one story I wrote it Rwanda – 1,000+ pages in three months. It is deep, personal, good and real. I read it now and find I can’t relate. I can’t edit it because I don’t trust myself to keep it real and not just go for what is easy.  
Card from Celeste Knight

I often say that, ‘we cannot give what we do not have.’

In my life overall I am in a season of falsity. It is a struggle to be where I am. It is hard to be sitting here, knowing where I want to be, and realizing the route will be anything but easy.

Welcome to the mire, the muck and the lonely path.

Truly it is a daily struggle. It is a momentary choice to not fall into the Pinterest void, but to stay where I am and engage.

In my daily interactions I have to be real. I have to be true to my co-workers, my family, and most importantly, myself, in order for any of it to translate to the page.

So I choose to be real and stand in the mire, hoping for the strength to make it to the other side.

You cannot give what you do not have. 

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© Amanda Lunday