31 July, 2013

Gratitude - Day Three

grad school, text book, finance
Today I am writing from my college campus, waiting for class to start.

I am grateful for the chance to get an education. I am grateful that we have the funds for me to pursue my Masters without loans, that I have an incredible husband who drives the 90 minutes with me so I don't have to come alone. I am grateful for a job and a boss who encouraged me to pursue my MA in Nonprofit Management, and even though it is not my favorite class - I am enjoying the chance to learn more about nonprofit finance and how to make it all come together in the positive.

I had to admit, gratitude was a challenge for me today. On the way to work I was reminded of something I truly wanted and didn't get. It is a dream that still lingers and today was enough to send me into tears. I realize disappointment is a part of life. I read an incredible book called Plan B and in it Pete Wilson attempts to help process what happens when life is turned upside down. From a failed promotion (or new job) to divorce to the death of a child - our lives are filled with the unpleasantly unexpected. What do we do in those moments define us.

It's been a hard summer. From the loss of a dream, to a car accident that totaled my perfect car and left me unscratched (at least externally), to a hard time at work and just feeling a bit lost in my own skin. I have searched for anchors - for things to hold onto that would align me. Maybe the rhythm of grad school has helped, perhaps the melody of one more paper, one more response, one more chapter has some how kept me going. One more step, one more day, one more project, one more class...  

Today I am grateful for the chance to learn and to engage. The ability to go to school should not be taken for granted, whether because of finances, time or gender. I recognize and let sink in the responsibility and privilege of this moment and promise to use it to the best of my ability to help others.

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© Amanda Lunday