09 February, 2011


We need silence in our lives. We even desire it. But when we enter into silence we encounter a lot of inner noises, often so disturbing that a busy and distracting life seems preferable to a time of silence. Two disturbing "noises" present themselves quickly in our silence: the noise of lust and the noise of anger. Lust reveals our many unsatisfied needs, anger or many unresolved relationships. But lust and anger are very hard to face.

What are we to do? Jesus says, "Go and learn the meaning of the words: Mercy is what pleases me, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). Sacrifice here means "offering up," "cutting out," "burning away," or "killing." We shouldn't do that with our lust and anger. It simply won't work. But we can be merciful toward our own noisy selves and turn these enemies into friends. (Henri Nouwen)

In reflecting on this quote I ended up at 1 Corinthians 13. I realized that anger is the opposite of love. It does everything the opposite of what this chapter says. It is impatient, unkind, envious, boastful, proud. It is rude, self-seeking, easily agitated, overly mindful of wrongs. It delights in the pain and failings of others. It rejects the truth. It tears down and cannot hope and is very conditional. 

Anger is a cancer I refuse to have, a disease that will suck you dry from the inside out. It is a plague on both parties because when I am living for me - out of anger and pain - I will tear you down and subjugate you to get what I want.

But how do you reconcile someone who won't? How do I release my anger when the relationship can't be resolved? How do I find resolution in God and let the anger go and choose peace instead?

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© Amanda Lunday