05 January, 2011


"It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand."    -Madeleine L'Engle

Being an in between person can make it hard to feel content with where you are. It seems there is always something to miss. Something to feel left out of. Something that someone else has. Stability, home, close family, maid service, mini van, dream job, bigger bank account, curlier hair, longer eyelashes, the waist size of a 16-year-old. You name it, we all live in between something en route to something we think we want more.

No matter where we are, we will always feel discontent if we are not in Christ.  (via)

So how do we learn to be content? Can we "LEARN" to be content? 

I was talking to a friend the other day saying that I wanted to talk to a former boss of ours who was talking once about when her husband was just starting off in ministry and they were stuck at a church in nowhere OK and she just wanted to get out and tried to get him to leave, take a different church in a more "exciting" place - but he finally had to tell her that God had told him to be in OK for that time - and he needed her to learn to be okay being there. And she did.

Is it lack of trust? Rebellion? Do we make ourselves discontent? 

Maybe it is a bit of all of that.... 

I think part of is just this deep discontentment that I AM MADE FOR MORE THAN THIS... 

I am reading "Life at Work" right now and am struck again and again by how contentment comes from knowing thyself and acting on that knowledge. I cannot refuse to look at who I am, where I am came from, and what truly makes me joyful and expect the answer to just show up. I have to sort through the good and the bad, risk asking questions and going deeper, and in stillness and patience see what comes to the surface. 

My boss knew God had big things for her. She can look back now and see that the time in OK prepared her, helped solidify her marriage, kept her close to her kids. But at the time she had to take her desire to do more and her readiness to serve God and give it back to Him, surrendering her will for His plan and then let go.

So, here is to trusting and letting go. 

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© Amanda Lunday