08 December, 2008


I started thinking about my grandma. Somehow I really feel her absence today. I realized she has been gone more of my life than she was here. That makes me terribly sad.

She died of Alzheimer’s when I was 12. She was sick for years before... How long I actually had with her is uncertain. The disease was hard. We were close. I remember bath time at her house, baking chocolate chip cookies after the rodeo, playing old maid. My grandma was a very Godly woman. Being older and looking back on her life, I realize she modeled perfectly the Christ-like forgiveness we are all supposed to
live with. She was how we are to treat people.

As with parents it’s hard when you realize they're not perfect. No one is, still we can seek to immolate and become close to the good things we respect in them, and I seek to do that with her.

I want her here. Don't get me wrong, I love my step-grandma and am overjoyed to have her in my life. I just miss Marion and her ways. My grandma represents to me all that was stolen. And when I get melancholy for one my heart aches for the other.

Bebo is playing in my ears, "All that I have Sown," I love this song and today it’s a comforting reminder of her and what she left behind.

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© Amanda Lunday