11 May, 2006

So I'm done with college... to be honest Saturday was a bit of a dream, a blur. all that prep and stress for an hour long ceremony. We had a slew of speakers, well to be honest there is a lot of pomp to our graduation that really has nothing to do with anything. they try to make it all official, but if you know our school and how laid back it is the contrast to the rest of our school is laughable.

Ted Haggard spoke at our graduation and I have yet to talk to anyone with a brain who appreciated what he had to say. No, that is not a pompous statement - it's the truth. This man is an idiot and anyone who has half a base of what is going on in the world realizes what a dork he is. believe me, this is the nice way I talk about this man. I know he is getting a ton of attention right now and the world at large thinks he's amazing. he has a church of 15,000 people and can be seen talking to Barbara Walters - not impressed! Unfortunately, I know this man is not going away. He is going to be the Dobson (Pat Robertson, Falwell) of my generation - I just hope reason and sanity can at least force him to become educated.

That's done.

Anyway, after we had lunch as Olive Garden (so goooooddddd) then my family left and another friend and I went to a party. I tell you what, people who think they need alcohol to have a good time obviously don't have fun friends. I can't remember laughing and having such a good time as I do when I'm with this group. I love them. They're great. This is the same group I had dinner with a week ago - they're just great! The party was fun, a good ending to the day.

Now I enter the working world. It's been an odd week. It's like my body just collapsed, it's been pushing for so long and now it's all just done. I have a head ache, I'm sleeping through the night, it's good but all I want to do is sleep.

Last night I went for a walk, it was a nice night and I was tired of being inside. So I took my I-Pod put it on shuffle and walked up the hill. I have been struggling for a long time with the idea of being okay wanting a simple life. I have tried to convince myself that I needed to strive for something lofty - I should at least reach for DC, and if I end up in Indiana at least I tried. But what's wrong with wanting to run a kids bookstore? Is that a bad desire? Is it bad to want to teach college? I don't plan on doing either halfway. But for some reason I've been told if I'm not doing something praise worthy by man then I'm not doing enough.

Okay, bad analogy but go with me. If you've seen "City of Angels" you know the part towards the end when Meg Ryan is riding on her bike, her hands are up and her face is lifted to the sun. She's enjoying the moment, her moment of peace. Unknown to her a semi is coming... That is how I feel. I don't want to get comfortable and relax because I fear the moment I do the pain will start again.

But I am good. I'm having a grad party on saturday. if you want to come - contact me. I'd love to see you.

(oh, yeah, if you could pray for direction and peace on a next step I'd appreciate it!)

love you.

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