17 April, 2006

Happy Easter!

Blessed Savior's Resurrection to you all...

Yesterday my family and I went to church. We went to my sister's church which is slowly becoming my church. Right now they meet in the gym of a local school. It hit me yesterday that church isn't a building, it's a spirit of worship. I think it's great when churches meet in a field or a gym or a classroom - it shows that a building doesn't represent God. I appreciated the pastor's sermon - it was one of the few time I've heard a pastor distinguish between "church" and "faith" The church is a group of people who meet together, the church is the a group who has margainlized others and hurt people in the name of God. The Church is flawed because it is made up of people and the church does not always represent Christ. FAITH is communion with God, faith is a gift from a Father who never fails. The pastor told people that if you've been burned by the church not to let that separate you from a relationship with God - which is very different than the church. I don't know, it was refreshing and not something a lot pastors would have been willing to admit.

I've been burdened a lot lately. A close friend actually commented to me that since coming back I've seemed more burdened and less easy going. Maybe that's so. I feel that God has stripped me raw - taking away and defense I had against the depravity of this world and the evil in it. Is it bad that I cry for the children of Uganda? Or weep for children locked in prostitution? I feel for the abused, the hurting, the lost, the needy - before it had become like baseball stats to me. I could talk about it, read about it, think about it without feeling anything. I could tell you stories like I was reading a recipe - and now I actually feel something. If that's bad then I'm sorry, but I don't want to change out of it. I feel that with the increased awareness and "seriousness" that engulfs me - I am more happy because I can see the beauty of a flower, or enjoy my nephew's laugh - enjoy my nephew more - I am seeing people and realizing more and more how incredibly serious our decisions here are. Is that bad? I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I don't want to lose this...

I dunno. Two random tangents for your Monday morning.

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