07 March, 2006

So try to describe the feeling of today….

I’m at work. It’s beautiful outside, and they’re predicting snow tomorrow. Colorado is so ADD.

Jack Johnson is playing, A.W. is here with me, and my fun sandals with seashells on them is sitting on the floor…

Total contentment…quite possibly.

Yesterday I started on a new adventure and once again realized nothing is as I imagine it.

I got an internship with my representative in Congress, who is also running for governor. Pretty cool. Yesterday was my first day so I basically sat in a cubical and read over his letters on different issues to get a feel for where he stands on things. It was doing this I realized I am working for someone I can honestly say I respect. This isn’t the first time, but it’s a relief to find someone in our political system who has their head on straight and isn’t afraid to say “this is wrong” or “I won’t support this.” Of course he says it nicer than that, but you get the point…

So yeah, I like this man who I am now working for. I want him to win, and be our governor, and who knows maybe someday be our president (that would be great!). I took this internship hoping to get a career in politics and certainly being in the office would give me a taste of it. But once again I realize I have no idea what I want to do. Do I really want to be a political person? Am I really ready to give up my dream of owning a kids bookstore? Or starting a NGO?

I have to decide in a week if I want to take the Foreign Service Exam. Yes, it would be fun to work in an embassy I suppose. But the truth is I don’t agree with this president’s foreign policy AT ALL and so it might be better to wait a few years and then see who gets into office next and take it then…



For the first time I think I am truly content. I am graduating in 9 weeks and that is so scary to me, but I’m ready. But I’m not anxious to get out of here; I want to enjoy my time left. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, and that’s fine. I don’t know who is out there for me and that’s just fine also…

Although I must admit I am having the strongest desire to go rent a cabin in the middle of nowhere and just live there, read the hundreds of books on my list, write, talk to God and get some direction. I would love to be able to toy with the NGO idea that’s recently hit me, write my compassion kids like I want to, enjoy the time to myself. Of course, people would have to come see me. But no TV, no internet, nothing to distract me, just time to say “Okay God, give me a path!” Yeah that would be grand. But then thoughts of car payments and loan payments (gasp!) and life sets in. But even a month, give me a month to do this and I’d be okay. I’m not going to move into the desert and build a shack and disappear for three years. Just a month of solitude…

Oh well!


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