11 March, 2005

I really wish I was in Scotland, I thought I was okay with not getting picked to go - but I'm not. Yesterday in chapel they all had their t-shirts on and I just kept feeling "that should be me." I broke down in the middle and just cried. I have known for 4 months that I wasn't going, but to be honest I never got over it. I would talk to my friends who get to go and just feel sick. Is it bad that I never asked one friend how things were going because it hurt too much? I suck! I just don't get why this has to be so hard still.

well it's spring break, thank God! I'm at home, trying to figure out how to spend the week of freedom I've been given... I don't think I have ever needed spring break more than I did this year.

oh yeah, so my new goal is to run a marathon. Laura and I have started running, and it's really cool. We get to talk, there's accountability, and we are on our way to having killer running legs! rock on! We are hoping to do a marathon this summer, so we'll see. Needless to say I'm pumped!

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