06 August, 2004

"...And on the inside you hear the fall but you hate the falling sound and on the inside you can't pick another broken piece up off the ground well I know -- Hush little baby don't say a word, Daddy's gone and bought you a great big heaven to rest in. He's bought it with blood and put the seal in your heart it'll give you the hope you need to get up and start again ." (Waterdeep)

Why is it that we never seem ready to leave home? Today I moved back to school and to be honest it was harder than I anticipated. I am living in a freshman stairwell again, which is really cool. I am psyched for my roomies and the chance to pour into so many girls' lives in this unique way... But it's still hard.

This morning, as I said good-bye to my mom I started to cry - when I pulled out of my driveway - I cried, when my dad came to drop some stuff off - I cried! Last night I was an nervous as I was the night before I came. I tossed and turned, tried to picture it all - this morning I made myself sick over the butterflies inside - why? I have been here two years already - what's going on?!?!

I think part of it is there are a lot of unknowns going on right now - and I don't know how to handle many of them. In some ways, I am starting over again this year and that is really scary - but it's also really cool because there are nothing but possibilities ahead...

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© Amanda Lunday