29 July, 2004

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him. (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

I love good friends. This summer has been taught me a lot about friendship - what makes a good friendship? How can you trust some people and not others? Without going into too much detail - I left school last spring unsure of where I stood with a lot of my friends. I honestly, shut down the last few weeks and pulled further and further into myself because I did not have the energy or compasity to deal with that was going on... Over the past three months I have become more and more humbled as again and again I have had to apologize and try to describe that I still cannot understand...
I was talking to one of my really good friends - probably the only person who I felt content and safe with this spring - and I came to a sad revelation - during that extremely hard time in my life (probably one of the hardest) - none of the people I most trust asked me if I was okay, or what was going on. They have all now said they saw something -- but in some ways coming after the storm is over isn't the same as being there when you're standing in the midst of it...
True friendship is unbeatable! Someone you can go without talking to for months, or years and sit down with and pick right up. I have several of these from my high school days - people I communicate with only through e-mail or letters, and yet know if we met tomorrow we would be talking without the awkward adjustment period. I love friends you can be silent with. I remember last summer, my roommate Meg and I would be doing our own things - reading, journaling, whatever - and I would go to bed feeling my night was fulfilling because she was there - that's a friendship.

As this year starts I have to admit I am aprehenious - a lot of my close friends from the past few years are gone (some physically gone, others having moved on to dating...) so I am, in some ways, starting all over again. I am living with 3 girls I don't know all that well, in a stairwell with 20 freshman! It's incredibly scary - yet exciting because there is a whole new realm of possibility and the relationships are endless :-)

'Let's go and see everybody,' said Pooh. 'Because when you have been walking in the wind for miles, and you suddenly go into somebody's house, and he says, "Hallo, Pooh you're just in time for a little smackerel of something," and you are, then it's what I call a Friendly Day.'
(A.A. Milne)

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